Why is it that one person can walk away from a conversation and think it was a heated exchange and the other person thinks nothing of it?
That little flare up — John let it go, but Jane stewed about it for days.
People are wired differently.
They may share the same experience, yet they respond differently. Some people love roller-coasters. Others (like me) feel motion sickness.
As a team, you are all on the same ride. But each person experiences it differently.
As a manager, you face two key challenges:
1. The first challenge is getting your team aligned with the goals. You’ve set goals. Do team members know where to go and what’s expected of them? Are you preparing them for the ups and downs?
You may think the path to reaching the goals is clear, yet some team members might be lost. It could be a skill issue, a knowledge issue — or a management issue.
2. The second challenge is getting your team to work together well. They may understand what’s expected, but they’re not playing well in the sandbox.
Some are throwing sand. Some are hogging the bucket. Some are just shoveling sand by themselves in a corner.
If two team members clash, address the issue quickly. Don’t let it fester. One small incident can ripple through the team and take you away from more important priorities.
One frustrated CEO stated, “I’d rather focus on growing the business, but now we’re spending more time and energy trying to manage risk. We’ve got to help our team work together.”
When team members are at serious odds, odds are good that your business is at risk.
To be most effective in your management role, you must understand what individual team members are experiencing — a seemingly impossible task. However, a good start is opening a different kind of dialogue. It’s one where you do most of the listening.
Even some of the most dysfunctional teams demonstrate improvement when team members have an opportunity to express what they see, hear and feel. This can be done in a team and/or one-on-one setting, depending on the team dynamics and relationship with the manager.
One of the most important insights to keep in mind is that people don’t necessarily share your view.
You may be looking at the same thing, but they see a different picture.
You see opportunity. They see a threat.
You see a star performer. They see you’re playing favorites.
You see constructive criticism. They see personal attack.
People are complicated. You don’t have to be a psychologist to understand each person on your team. But you do have to show interest in understanding them.
Give them the opportunity to share their perspective with you.
Try asking questions like these:
What are you seeing that I might be missing?
What else do we need to consider?
What are you most excited about regarding your work?
What are you most concerned about?
What do you like most about how the team is operating?
What do you like least about how the team is operating?
What would help you most in your role?
It’s tempting to rely on the same sources for your information. Getting a variety of perspectives will create better results.
The more people you speak with, the better input you will gain.
Don’t over-explain or get defensive.
Resist trying to solve the problem. (For many managers, it’s extremely difficult to do.)
Just listen.
Effective managers make it a common practice to engage their team in that kind of dialogue.
You’ll be amazed at the difference it can make when people know you are trying to understand their point of view.
Getting best team results doesn’t need to take years.
It just takes using your ears.