WorkMatters Tips Issue #53 – September 9, 2008
Publisher: Gayle Lantz mailto:lantz@workmatters.com
https://workmatters.com
WorkMatters, Inc.
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A quick tip to help leaders and executives who need to motivate their teams and themselves, and catapult their business.
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Stop Proving. Start Relating.
I visited a friend in the hospital recently who was recovering from difficult surgery. She expressed frustration about one of the young interns who was obviously trying to impress her with his medical knowledge.
Before she could finish her questions, he interrupted her to explain what treatment he thought would be necessary. The more he tried to prove his competence, the more frustrating it was to the patient.
It’s not unusual to find similar experiences in other fields. Those in professional service firms like attorneys, accountants, consultants, etc. are often under much pressure to prove themselves. Their competence and expertise are critical to the success of the business.
The same holds true for other people: technical professionals,trainers, engineers, financial planners, politicians and many other professionals.
As a leader, you may even feel pressure at times to prove you know what you’re doing, or to justify why you’re in a leadership role.
You may see others in your business who are trying too hard to prove themselves. They’re the ones who:
* Tend to speak up in meetings unnecessarily simply to show what they know.
* Like to hear themselves talk.
* Correct what others say.
* Have a need to be "right" all the time.
* Brag about their success in some way. (While it is important to toot your own horn, these people do it in a way that offends or bothers others.)
* Flaunt their credentials.
To keep your focus where it needs to be, which is on the patient,customer, employee, client, student or audience, remember the following:
* You’re in your role for a reason. Don't try to prove yourself.
* Listen first. Show you understand what’s important to the other person. (In my friend’s case, she needed compassion, not just competence.)
* Ask good questions. Resist the urge to provide answers too quickly, even if you think you know the
solution. Spend more time exploring the problem.
Of course, competence is important, but competence alone can only take you so far. Your ability to relate well to others will help you and your business or firm move forward faster.
Stop proving. Start improving …your ability to grow great relationships.
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ON THE LIGHTER SIDE
Tell me what you brag about and I'll tell you what you lack.
~ Spanish Proverb
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Reprinted from "WorkMatters Tips," a free ezine produced by Gayle Lantz featuring tips for leaders and executives who want to grow themselves, their team and their business. Subscribe at
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